Sexual performance anxiety can have a severe impact on a couple’s relationship. Here’s all you need to know and how brain training can help.

Along with emotional attachment, a healthy sexual experience is also vital to have a happy relationship. It often happens that two people may get along well, but will struggle to have a good sexual equation and a healthy sex life. This leads to a lot of relationship issues and a lot of marriages break up due to sexual dysfunction. And if two partners share a satisfactory sexual relationship, it also helps in solving a lot of underlying issues. But a pleasurable, intimate relationship is not achievable for some couples due to various factors- one of them being sexual performance anxiety.

What is sexual performance anxiety?

This is a condition that both men and women can suffer from, where they experience anxiety before or during sexual activity/sexual intercourse. They feel anxious about performing well and being good enough for their sexual partner. Because of being extremely tensed, people with performance anxiety aren’t able to get aroused, which impacts their sexual activity and intimate equation. There are various reasons why people experience this condition. This includes:

  • Fear that they won’t perform well and satisfy their partner
  • Body image issues such as feeling ugly, excess weight, etc
  • Nervousness about not being able to achieve an orgasm
  • Men worrying about premature ejaculation, inability to get erect with a condom
  • Males insecure about their penis size
  • Low self esteem
  • Habits such as excessive smoking, consuming alcohol, etc.
  • Previous bad experience during sexual performance
  • Medical conditions such as diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure
  • Consuming antidepressants
  • Consistent negative thought patterns

This condition affects both men and women

Performance anxiety is often associated with men as they experience erection issues due to the tension they are plagued with. This is because the body releases stress hormones such as epinephrine and norepinephrine. One of their functions is to narrow blood vessels. As a result, when less blood flows to the penis, the more difficult it is to get an erection, therefore having an impact on sexual function.

This condition is referred to as erectile dysfunction, which is a common issue. Therefore, even if you are with someone you find sexually attractive, getting arousal can still be a challenge. This is why men, who are able to get erect otherwise, experience no erection during sexual performance anxiety. A medicine called Viagra is prescribed to combat this sexual dysfunction.

Women too can fail to get aroused or experience enjoyment. Many women aren’t able to open up due to the nervousness they feel, that contributes to muscle tension. As a result, sexual penetration can be extremely painful as opposed to an enjoyable experience for them. This condition is referred to as Vaginismus. A lot of factors can cause vaginismus, performance anxiety being one of them.

How can you get rid of your performance anxiety? 

Here are some treatment options you can try:

Consult a therapist/ undergo sexual counselling: There are healthcare professionals that specialize in sex therapy. You can consult one and talk about your issues and sexual health. Therapy and counseling can help you identify underlying problems that you may not be aware of. It can help you overcome these and increase your chance of having satisfying sex with your partner.

Seek medical advice: You and your partner can consult a gynac and eurologist for your performance issues and sexual difficulties. You can also get insights from your doctor about your sex drive, testosterone levels in males, techniques to achieve sexual satisfaction, performance concerns, and overall sexual health.

Mix things up: It’s not always necessary to be intimate with your partner only during intercourse. You can enjoy a sexual performance in other ways too. For example, you can give each other a massage, or take a shower together. You can even engage in masturbation together. Keep trying different approaches.

Build the mood: You can listen to sensual music, light up the room with candles, watch intimate videos, etc., to create a mood. Doing these things will help you deal with your sexual anxiety in a healthier way.

Be open with your partner: Instead of trying to hide your performance anxiety, why not talk openly about it? This way both you and your partner would be aware of the situation and would consciously work towards making your sexual encounter better.

Brain training: This is the most permanent solution to your anxiety issue. Brain training technology Neurofeedback restores the imbalances in the brainwaves that cause mental illnesses like anxiety, depression, stress, and more. To learn more about what this technology is and how it works, click here.