I have been off social media for about two weeks and doing so, has given me mental peace like never before. I am calmer, more relaxed, and less stressed.
Most of us have come across various articles on how social media is becoming more of a bane than a boon. This is because it’s starting to have an impact on people’s mental health, as suggested by certain studies. Of course, this is debatable and some of you may be of the opinion that social media has a positive impact on you and has helped you in some way or the other. Fair enough, and to each his own.
However, in my personal experience, I did find that social media was definitely increasing my anxiety and competitiveness, and lowering my self-esteem. Before I get to how I decided to take a break from it and the way that has helped me, I want to stress a little bit on the way social media was impacting me negatively, and how I only came to realize it much later.
The big gram theory
I was a big user of Facebook before I got introduced to Instagram. While I found the app super interesting, my interaction on it was limited. In fact, I was the perfect dummy who probably required a detailed ‘Guide To Instagram.’ However, things changed when I got the hang of the app.
I learned how to upload pictures, stories, use the right hashtags, filters, and whatnot. And before I knew it, I was uploading stories left, right and center. The most exciting part of it all was when I would get to see who all have seen my story. The more the number of people, the bigger the boost to my self-esteem!
Late to rise, late to bed
Aside from uploading stories, I started spending a significant amount of my day, checking others’ Instagram stories. There came a point where the first thing I would do after waking up, was, check my Instagram. And instead of following my usual morning routine of drinking tea, freshening up, and sitting down to work, I would easily waste half an hour just checking updates. This, in turn, led to a delayed start to the day and finishing late at night.
This slowly started to become routine and I hardly recognized it.
You’ve got it, you flaunt it!
What started off as innocent story sharing on Instagram, soon turned into a low-key competition. I would see my friends uploading pictures and stories of their fancy clothes, social gatherings, lunch/dinner dates, vacations, and more, and I would think to myself- “why is my life not as “happening” like everyone else’s?”
So I would look for opportunities to turn them into Instagram stories. Dinner date with hubby? Check it out on my story. Movie night? All details on my story. What’s the weather like in my city? My Instagram story will tell you all. Where am I holidaying? Look up my Instagram story, y’all!
This obsession of putting up Instagram stories slowly started to interfere with my personal life as well. I and my husband would go out and he would be infuriated with my constant need to update my life on social media. Our dinner table conversations would be replaced with me trying to find the perfect filter for my story, showing off a fancy cocktail that I am sipping on. Even a movie night at home would start off with me trying to find the right scene to capture and upload on my story so that people could see which film I’m watching and know how cool I am as a person.
Love me, love me, say that you love me
What became a competition soon turned into insecurity. Why did so and so not tag me and everybody else in this post? Why am I not as beautiful as her? Why did I not get as many likes for this picture as the last one? Why is no one reacting to my story as I expected?
I was caught in a vicious cycle of seeking validation on social media. And if I didn’t get it, I would genuinely get upset and disappointed. So in order to make sure I got the attention I was hoping for, I would upload as many attractive posts and pictures as possible. Soon it became a habit like sleeping, eating, breathing.
I realised I needed to stop and take a step back when a significant number of likes left me feeling super good about myself. I was low and needed some self-esteem boost. So what did I do? I found a decent picture of myself, corrected it with umpteen filters, and uploaded it with a sweet caption. And voila! There was the validation I needed. Thank god I am still popular, right?
The last ‘like’ that broke the camel’s back
Why I found this problematic was because I had begun to look for comfort on social media instead of finding it as well as appreciating it in real-life. I have the most loving husband I could ask for who tells me every single day about how beautiful he finds me and how much he loves me. I have incredible in-laws who are loving, caring, and supporting. I have a wonderful mother who treats me like her princess. I have kind and caring friends who accept me and respect me for who I am. And yet, it’s the likes on Instagram that make me feel more special than these people I have in my life?
That’s when I knew I needed a break from the noise, competition, comparisons, and self-doubt. I logged out from my personal Instagram and Facebook accounts. I had to keep the app for official uses and work purposes but that was it. I took a break from uploading stories, checking other people’s stories, etc.
Breaking the habit
Initially, it was super hard to NOT check social media. I would get withdrawal symptoms like picking up my phone, without realizing, to open the apps. But I would remind myself that I am trying to break this habit and would distract myself by focusing on my work or reading an article.
There were times when I slipped up and found myself checking social media, convincing myself that it’s okay as I’m at least trying. But the real break from social media for me started when one day, I got super busy with work and completely forgot about Instagram and Facebook. From then on, I haven’t missed it.
By taking a step back from all the social media noise and information, I find myself more calm, relaxed, and at peace. I suffer from anxiety and by not spending time on social media, I find that I have more time for myself, my husband, family, friends as well as self-care.
So is this the end?
Am I never ever going to be on social media again? Nope, not saying I won’t. I am simply taking a break and encouraging you, especially if you have a mental health condition, to do the same. I am not asking you to quit it altogether, but am emphasizing the need to take a break from it once in a while as it can subconsciously have an impact on you.
If you do not wish to take a break and are using social media in a balanced measure, then great! As long as you’re having fun with it and it’s not hampering your mental health and self-worth in any way, social media is surely a great tool to interact with loved ones, stay updated with current affairs/social issues, etc.
As of now, I feel at peace at not having to keep a certain impression alive on social media. I no longer feel like a part of the rat race to upload stories and keep my ‘likes’ game going strong. In a way, it’s freeing like I never imagined it would be.
So if you’ve been meaning to take the same route as me, try it and let me know how it goes. Wish you good luck!
