I have come across people who have taken hours just deciding between a chocolate and pineapple cake. Here’s my account on poor decision-makers.
Taking a decision may seem like an easy thing to do. But for some people, it can turn out to be the most challenging of tasks. I deal with several clients on a daily basis, many of whom are experiencing anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD etc. A common outcome of these conditions is the inability to make a decision. A choice as simple as picking between a black or a blue outfit, can be a daunting experience for some. So much so, that they get more anxious, begin to sweat and ultimately tire out themselves and people around them.
Much ado about shopping
There are many cases that I can narrate. I’ll begin with one that I found particularly intriguing. A young client of mine, who suffers from anxiety, told me about how her mother-in-law’s indecisiveness, drives her crazy. She enlightened me with a story on how she and her MIL decided to go shopping one day. But what was supposed to be a pleasant experience, turned out to be a bit of a nightmare for my client.
“There was a discussion for an hour on whether we should first go to Dadar and then Matunga, or vice-versa,” she said, with a perplexed expression. A simple decision as such, turned into a full-fledged debate to the point where my client ended up cancelling the shopping plan.
“Choke-d” to death!
Another incident which is etched in my memory is also related to shopping, narrated by a close friend of mine. She was about to get married and was on a shopping spree with her mother. She mentioned that she visited a jewelry store with her mom and saw another bride-to-be trying out jewelry. The two got talking to the girl and had a friendly chat about how maddening wedding shopping can be, so on and so forth.
“I happened to have a word with one of the saleswoman at the store,” said my friend, adding, ” she revealed that the bride-to-be that Mom and I spoke to was present at the store the previous day as well. “She said that the girl was trying out the exact same choker that we saw her trying out that day. She was there from 11 am till 7pm, trying to take a decision! And she was present the next day, doing the same thing all over again!” exclaimed my friend. I stared at her in disbelief.
Stuck in between
At the time when I wasn’t in this profession, I was quick to judge people who were poor at decision making. But as I expanded and built my knowledge on mental health, I realised how it’s a condition that many people suffer from for various reasons. This brings me to my next story of a client who shared with me on how people think he doesn’t take a stand.
“I am a bit of a people pleaser. So whenever I am in a situation where two close friends of mine want to do different things, I feel stuck. It becomes a nightmare for me to take a decision. I can’t choose between one plan and stick to it. I am filled with worry as to if I go with one friend’s plan, the other might feel bad. So in the end, I am the bad guy who doesn’t have a spine and can’t take a stand,” he remarked.
With his story I realised that poor decision making is a condition that can severely affect relationships too. I have come across couples who have had massive fights, as one of them can’t take quick decisions. “A simple decision like buying a show piece for the house involves an hour-long discussion. What is he going to do when we have to make life-altering decisions like buying a house, having a baby or changing careers?,” expressed one of my clients.
As a practitioner who has heard a lot of stories, I can say that poor decision making is a condition that needs help. It’s not just a quality or a nature that certain people possess. In simpler words, it can’t be dismissed. So if you’re a poor decision maker, you can turn to us, as we have decided to help you. And it’s a decision we will stick to, no matter what.
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To learn more, watch this video. In addition to these tips, Brain & Co. offers med-free treatment that could help you overcome some of the challenges that come with depression/anxiety/sleep issues etc. Visit our website or give us a call to learn more.
