Grieving is not just about crying or mourning. It’s a much more complex process than that. Read on to know more about the 5 stages of grief.

Be it the death of a loved one, a painful breakup, losing a job, etc.,- such incidents bring out a common emotion in all of us, i.e of grief. Grieving is a natural process that all of us go through at some point in our lives. But this process is perceived very simply by some, where it’s equated to someone crying endlessly over a loss. While this is certainly a part of it, it’s not all of it. Did you know that grief actually has 5 stages? Here’s a look at them.

Stage 1: Denial 

In this stage, the emotion of grief is very overwhelming for the person.  As a result, they go into denial- for example, not accepting the loss of a loved one. This gives them more time to gradually come to terms with as well as process the pain that they are experiencing. This is the body’s defense mechanism to protect the person where he/she usually goes numb before reaching the second stage. However, when the switch occurs, the emotions that you have been suppressing begin to rise, and confronting them can seem like the most difficult thing to do at the time.

Here’s how people usually sound at the denial stage:

In the case of divorce: “This is just temporary. It’s all going to get back to normal soon”

Death of a loved one: “He’s not gone. He’ll wake up in a few minutes, I’m sure.”

Job loss: “There must be some mistake. They shall call soon to rehire me.”

Diagnosis of a terminal illness: “The doctors must have switched some other patient’s results with me.”

Stage 2: Anger 

While denial is a coping mechanism, anger is considered to be a masking effect. It hides and protects the feelings of grief that one is experiencing. The person’s anger comes out on other people such as the one who passed away, an ex-partner, their boss, etc. However, the anger in this stage is not always active- for example- having outbursts- but can be more passive in nature such as having feelings of bitterness and resentment.

Also, it’s not compulsory that every grieving person goes through this stage. But those who do, gradually experience their anger subsiding and are able to come to terms with the emotions that they have been suppressing.

Here’s how people usually sound at the anger stage:

Breakup or divorce: “He’s going to pay for what he did. He’ll be miserable without me.”
Death of a loved one: “If only she listened to me when I said that she should take better care of herself.”
Job loss: “It’s their loss. This company is going to fail without me.”
Diagnosis of terminal illness: “How dare God do this to me?”

Stage 3: Bargaining 

Those grieving often end up feeling vulnerable and helpless. As a result, some people may try to look for ways to gain control over their emotions and bargaining is a tactic they adopt. In this stage, they make a lot of “what if” and “if only” statements. It helps them postpone the sadness, hurt as well as confusion. Some religious individuals even try to strike a bargaining deal with God or promise something to a higher power, in exchange for healing powers or relief from the grief.

Here’s how people usually sound at the bargaining stage:

Breakup or divorce: “If only if I would have given her more time and attention, she wouldn’t have left me.”
Death of a loved one: “If only I would have reached out to her in time, she would have been alive today.”
Job loss: “If I would have worked extra hours, I wouldn’t have been fired.”
Diagnosis of terminal illness: “If only we could have gotten the tests done in time, this could have been prevented.”
Stage 4: Depression 
While anger and bargaining are more active ways of one expressing their grief, depression is the quiet stage. At this point in the process, the person finally comes to terms with their emotions. He/she may choose to isolate themselves in order to fully cope with the grief they are experiencing. However, this stage can be messy as well as exhausting. And if the person isn’t able to overcome their depression, he/she may need professional help such as counseling, therapy, brain training, etc.

Here’s how people usually sound at the depression stage:

Breakup or divorce: “What is the point of going on at all?”

Death of a loved one: “What is the meaning of my life without him?”

Job loss: “I don’t know where to go from here or what to do.”

Diagnosis of terminal illness: “I can’t believe my life is going to end this way.”

Stage 5: Acceptance 
Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean that the person has moved past a traumatic incident and is happy again. It’s a stage where the person has finally accepted and processed the grief and understood how to go on from here. One may feel a sense of calm after having gone through the different stages but it doesn’t mean that the person can’t go back to a previous stage such as that of depression or anger. In some cases, the switch is frequent before the person finally moves on.
Here’s how people usually sound at the depression stage:
Breakup or divorce: “Maybe it has all been for the best”
Death of a loved one: “I’m fortunate to have known such a wonderful person like him in my life.”
Job loss: “This is an opportunity for me to explore new ventures.”
Diagnosis of terminal illness: “I’m going to ensure I live my life to the fullest before I go.”
In order to understand how to handle and help a grieving person, read this blog here.
How brain training can help one overcome their grief 
Brain training technology Neurofeedback can help a grieving person overcome their anxiety, trauma, depression, stress, and other mental health conditions that they may be experiencing. This is a NASA-inspired and US, FDA-approved technology that restores the imbalances that exist in our brainwaves and can help you lead a happy, calm, and balanced life. To learn more about Neurofeedback, visit here.