Hypochondria is defined as abnormal chronic anxiety about one’s health.
Me at 11: pm: I feel sleepy, time to call it a night.
My brain: Maybe you have Cancer. Remember Nina aunty? She died of cancer, and the first symptom was fatigue and sleepiness. And it’s genetic.
Me: OMG don’t start again, I am trying to sleep!
My brain: You remember the tetanus shot you took the other day? What if it was infected with an HIV virus? After all, this virus can spread through needles.
Me: Please stop it, I do not have AIDS, and even you know it.
My brain: And what about rabies? You love dogs and have a habit of petting them all the time. Rabies can also spread if an infected dog licks an open wound. You have a scratch on your right hand, remember? What if it was bleeding and a rabid dog licked it?
Me: You need to stop; otherwise I will go crazy.
Living like this is tiring.
These are the frequent conversations between me and my brain. If there was a mutual aid fellowship like alcoholics anonymous for people like me, I’d be acknowledging, “Hi, I am XYZ, and I am a hypochondriac.”
Ever since I can remember, I have experienced anxiety whenever a loved one or I have fallen ill. It can be something as small as the flu, fatigue, fever, or an upset stomach but, in my head, it’s nothing short of a significant, life-threatening disease, particularly cancer. I have a fear of the disease, which is also known as carcinophobia. I developed it last year, and I still get thoughts about getting cancer one day and eventually passing away.
Though I have always had hypochondria, it is my fear of cancer that envelopes me the most. Now, how and when did I develop this condition? I worked at a health crowdfunding website last year as a content writer. My main job was to write content for all the fundraisers that came in. So, we would get details such as ‘so and so has Leukemia. His symptoms include low-grade fever, joint pain, nose bleeds etc. The money required for the treatment is so and so.’ I was required to use these details and write a fundraiser on behalf of the family. So, my story would include phrases such as ‘seeing my boy suffer like this is killing me. He is in extreme pain, and if you don’t help him in time, we may lose him.’
At the time I was writing these lines, I was surprisingly cool as a cucumber. I was calm and unaffected. I would write down the symptoms, describe them in excruciating detail. And yet, sadness, fear, or worry were feelings that I wasn’t acquainted with. But they indeed came knocking on my door, a month after I left the job.
One day, I woke up in the middle of the night, filled with anxiety. My heart was racing, and I was sweating profusely. I couldn’t tell why I was feeling so nervous. And then I heard my brain. It kept saying…” You’re going to get cancer; you’re going to get cancer.” I was confused. Out of nowhere, I had developed an extreme fear of the disease.
Now it dominates my life. The fear creeps up anytime, anywhere. Even on the busiest of days, hypochondria reminds me that it exists in my system. I may be engrossed in my work or watching a thrilling movie. A voice in my brain arises and says, “Hey there, don’t forget about your fear of cancer.” While carcinophobia takes precedence over all my other fears, it isn’t lonely for sure. There are times where fear of passing away suddenly due to a heart attack, a stroke, or rabies cripples me.
I remember my father telling me about a friend of his, who was working out in the gym and simply collapsed and passed away. He’d had a heart attack. I heard of two similar cases post this story. And there it was- fear of my heart calling it quits. I love working out, and at the time, I would go to the gym and squeeze in a one-hour cardio session. But soon I started fearing the gym or any form of a high-energy workout. My hypochondria regarding this sure did reduce. But it hasn’t gone away.
I reside in Mumbai and visited a dog café recently, where you can play with a few pedigree dogs for about an hour. It is a much-needed therapy session for all dog lovers, who are experiencing stress, depression, and anxiety. I went in and had the time of my life. Interacting and playing with beautiful creatures such as Siberian Huskies and Golden Retrievers, was truly a heartwarming experience. I had forgotten all about my hypochondria. But as they say, all good things come to an end and so did my peaceful time. Once I returned home, panic-filled me yet again. My worry this time was, what if I had contracted rabies from one of these dogs that I played with?
I caught flu the next morning, and my fears worsened. I always swear to myself that I won’t look up the symptoms on Google. But my mischievous brain controlled me again, and there I was on the popular search engine, reading the signs of rabies. And how does this disease start? That’s right! With flu! I went into a spiral and even contacted a friend to check whether the dogs at the café are sanitized for sure. She, being fully aware of my hypochondria, assured me that there’s nothing to worry about and that I’ll be fine.
My hypochondria is not limited to only fears about myself. I react and behave the same way when a loved one falls ill. And in every sense of the word, it is tiring living like this. Not only am I always riddled with anxiety, but this condition interferes with my work, too, and makes me less productive.
I soon realized that I need help and got acquainted with Neurofeedback. With just a few sessions in, I feel a world of a difference. My negative thoughts have reduced considerably, and I feel happier and more content. I still have a long way to go, and I can’t wait to embark on this journey further.
If you too suffer from hypochondria as I do, you can get help by undergoing Neurofeedback sessions. To learn more, watch this video.
In addition to these tips, Brain & Co. offers med-free treatment that could help you overcome some of the challenges that come with depression/anxiety/sleep issues, etc. Visit our website or give us a call to learn more.
